My Testimony

By Ashlie Bailey

My name is Ashlie Bailey. I am a believer in Jesus and a chosen daughter of the King Most High. I have been a part of the anti-human trafficking movement since 2010. I am a speaker, artist, and consultant in the anti-human trafficking ministry. Before I was born, members of my family were into organized crime, violence, and the occult for several generations. 

For decades, my family became heavily involved in one of the very worst, most violent child snuff porn and sex trafficking rings that I have ever seen. They and the others in the trafficking organization used brutal military-style enhanced interrogation torture techniques on the children to control their victims. After I was born into the organization, I became one of those children.

The crime ring was run by ordinary looking, white, wealthy, well educated, powerful, and successful men and their families, many of whom were part of a Satanic organization and a large worldwide underground pedophile network that had thousands of members. Some of the members worked in government, the military, and the justice system at the time.

​They weren't just trafficking people through pimping, online sex ads, hotels, truck stops, or strip clubs, but through an underground pedophile ring run by families, in ordinary neighborhoods, out of people's middle and upper-class homes, in their places of business, and on military bases.

Beginning at a very young age, on and off, in my childhood and adolescence, I was sold into sexual slavery to groups of powerful, cruel, and extremely violent men who were hurting children and doing things that are unspeakable. 

My abusers controlled my behavior by force, using threats, coercion, lies, humiliation, shame, brainwashing, isolation, physical restraint, confinement, powerful and dangerous drugs in high doses, sensory and sleep deprivation, and many nights of torture, ritualistic abuse, and mind control programming.

What I experienced and witnessed was so violent and horrific that not everyone survived. It was so dark, there were no words to describe it. The closest word I can think of that even comes close is holocaust. The grief and loss I felt over the deaths of other victims were unbearable until my perspective of death was forever changed because Christ took death and turned it upside down. Jesus overcame death: 

ISAIAH 25:8 HE WILL SWALLOW UP DEATH FOREVER. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken.

1 COR. 15:54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "DEATH HAS BEEN SWALLOWED UP IN VICTORY.

1 SAMUEL 2:6 The LORD brings death and makes alive; he brings down to the grave and raises up.

PSALM 116:15-16 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. O LORD, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY CHAINS.

PSALM 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

PSALM 30:3 O Lord, You brought my soul up from the grave; You have kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.

PSALM 116:3-6 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the LORD: "O LORD, save me!

PSALM 116:8-9 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

LUKE 17:33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it.

I grew up in the LDS Church. By the time I was six years old, I had been thoroughly indoctrinated by strict, legalistic, fundamentalist religious teachings and worldview, but I had not always held those beliefs. 

Before I was brainwashed, I knew who Jesus was and talked to him. At only the age of four years old, I knew my future, destiny, and life’s purpose. I knew that when I grew up, I would one day be called to fight against darkness, evil, and crimes against children.

I was chosen and meant to be recruited and trained by the elite organized crime ring and religious cult, but they were too late. When I was seven years old and in the second grade, I had already started my own secret society – it was a Barney the Dinosaur Secret Society. Clearly, the mind control did not fully work on me.

Even during the years I was being exploited, I still attended school. The majority of my abuse and exploitation happened at night, on the weekends, during holidays, and over summer vacations. 

During summer vacation when I was 11, I went to a Christian church camp with a friend, where I heard the real message of Jesus. At camp, I was given my very first cross. In the Mormon church, displaying or owning a cross was forbidden. Although I was expected to continue to be a member of the Mormon Church, I secretly kept the cross hidden in my pocket for a long time. 

It took all of the strength that I had just to survive. Eventually, I had no more strength to try to escape physically anymore, so I found my escape in my art and music. I played piano by ear and was trained in classical guitar from ages nine to seventeen years old. When I was little, I was a real ballerina, but I was only allowed to dance for the men.

Until my sophomore year, I did my best to be a good student even during the times that I failed. By my junior year in high school, I had given up. I didn’t get to graduate from high school. On the radio, I once heard a sermon on the life of Joseph. The pastor said, "Sometimes you get an A+ just for surviving."

MATTHEW 25:23 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

By the time I was in foster care and a junior in high school, I was living with a Mormon Bishop and his wife. At the age of sixteen, I was forced to enter into a secret and illegal marriage covenant with the bishop and his other wives. He was over sixty years old at the time. There were so many secrets… secrets I wouldn’t share until almost a decade later. I went through multiple teenage pregnancies. One of my sons was premature enough that he probably didn’t survive. For years, I was led by the Mormon Church to believe that all of my children were no longer alive.

In high school, I began to question the Mormon Church and started seeking answers. No matter the consequences, I wanted the truth. More than anything, I just wanted to be closer to Jesus and to know him as well as I did when I was little. 

Early in the morning on January 18, 2005, I read John 3:16. I realized that if Jesus was the “ONLY begotten Son of God,” then the teachings of the Mormon Church must be false. I also realized that I must believe that Jesus is the one and only Son of God. The very instant I realized this, He was there in a more real way than I had known before.

JOHN 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

That morning, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and told my foster parents I had been saved and was leaving the Mormon Church. In that religious organization, a confession like that can lead to danger. I was a pregnant and scared teenager, so later that day I tried to run away. I was found and taken to a hospital where my daughter Hope was born. Once again, I was led to believe my child did not survive. After my daughter was gone, I was abandoned by my Mormon foster family at the hospital where Hope had been born. I later realized I was persecuted for my new faith.

When I aged out of the foster care system at 18, I spent several months in a homeless shelter for women. While I was there, I got my driver’s license and received my GED. In the spring of 2006, I moved from the shelter into a community college dorm. In the spring of 2010, I graduated with an Associate of Arts from Kilgore College.

At this time, I began to seek more Bible knowledge. I did not become completely set free spiritually and mentally until I began to pray for my enemies and fight back at the real enemy with spiritual warfare. One time during the message at the new church I was attending, I remember the pastor said, "Christ's followers would be known by their scars and not by their muscles and strengths." I had secretly hidden injuries from my past abuse.

For years, I struggled with self-injury and suicide. Through my recovery, I discovered that Jesus had a complete understanding and empathy for the pain I was holding behind my scars because He took my wounds and He has overcome them. No matter how dark and how deep the scars you carry may be, there is absolutely nothing in this world too big for Him to overcome. By his wounds, we are healed.

On July 23, 2010, my life changed forever when I found my life's calling. At church one day, while the band was playing the song "Our God is Greater,” I felt God call me to finally come forward about the crimes I had witnessed as a child and to become a survivor leader in the fight against human trafficking.

For years, I experienced threats, stalking, vandalism, and break-ins by former traffickers who tried everything to silence and destroy me. It took all the courage I had in the world to speak up, even though I knew it would be a huge risk to my life, because with my decision to come forward came danger and persecution. I didn’t know it yet, but that was the moment I became an abolitionist, and I have been part of the anti-trafficking movement ever since then.

ESTHER 4:14 …Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.

I spent years going to every law enforcement agency I could find, searching for justice. I may be one of the last trusted living witnesses left with enough intel to take down this crime ring. I prayed every day and waited for God to answer. I asked the Lord for a sign that He would do something. At first, I thought God would answer my prayer through the justice system, but when that didn't happen yet, I felt confused and heartbroken. 

At the time, I thought no one else cared. I had no idea that the very CD with "Our God" on it that I took with me everywhere throughout that whole journey was recorded at an event where thousands of students raised awareness and funds to fight human trafficking.  During that time, I had no idea that there were thousands and thousands of people all over the world praying for the fight against modern day slavery. The whole time, they were praying for the same thing I was praying for. I was not alone, and I was never alone. I continue to seek justice on behalf of many women and children.

GENESIS 50:20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

In the organized crime ring I grew up in, many Hispanic women and children were taken from their homes, brought into the United States, and tragically lost their lives because of violent crime and human trafficking. Because of the things I had seen in childhood, I felt called to begin praying specifically for the women and children going missing out of Juarez Mexico. 

God revealed to me another sign. Every year since the "End It" movement was started at Passion Conference, thousands of people from all over the world draw red X's on their hands to raise awareness about human trafficking. 

After years of prayer, one day I came across a photo of a city. In that city, a monument in the shape of a giant red X had been built. The red X was big enough to be seen from miles away. This monument was not made in association with the trafficking awareness movement, 

Coincidentally, the monument design happened to be the same red X symbol as the one used in the movement to shine a light on the issue of trafficking.​​​

Albert Einstein once said, “A coincidence is a small miracle when God chooses to remain anonymous.

I asked for a sign that God would do something about the violent crime in Juarez, Mexico. I wasn't expecting God to answer my prayer with a sign against slavery huge enough to see from far away on either side of the border. That big red X monument is now one of the largest landmarks in Juarez, Mexico. 

It amazed me to find out that there was a Passion song written about raising a white flag against slavery when the writers of that song could not have known that there was an American flag crime rings used to signal it as a sign they were about to assassinate someone by dropping the flag from its pole. 

When that song came out, thousands of people with red X's drawn on their hands gathered outside of the Georgia Dome at a Passion Conference to raise white flags in representation of each of the estimated 27 million people currently trapped in slavery. They may not have known just how significant this was for survivors. In front of the property where crime ring leaders dropped the flag from its pole, there is a billboard that for many months said in huge letters the name of Jesus.

Seeing this reminded me on a regular basis how much more mighty and powerful God is than the entire human trafficking industry.

PSALM 60:4-5 Yet you have raised a flag for those who fear you so that they can rally to it when attacked by bows and arrows. Save us with your powerful hand, and answer us so that those who are dear to you may be rescued.

On May 7, 2012, I started praying for God to help me forgive my former traffickers. A few months later, I joined a Bible study over Nehemiah. During the Nehemiah study, the question that was asked over and over was “What has God put on your heart?” I prayed about it, and the answer was that God had put the “oppressed” on my heart. When I wrote that, I knew exactly who I had in mind, the other victims of human trafficking from my childhood who lost their lives. 

​In the story of Nehemiah, it says that Nehemiah asked God to forgive his ancestors who sold their own family members into slavery. They were referred to as the “oppressed”. I was blown away. One night, while I prayed for my former traffickers, I asked God to forgive them. That was my moment of freedom.

MATTHEW 5:44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

The next day, the study said, "Nehemiah prayed for four months before approaching the king. How does this encourage you to keep praying for something you have been praying for a long time?" Later on, I realized I began praying on May 7, 2012. Those prayers were answered on Sept 7, 2012. Without even planning it, I had prayed for exactly four months for help forgiving, the exact same amount of time as Nehemiah. 

GALATIANS 5:1 says it is for freedom that Christ set us free.

It had become clearer and clearer over that whole year that it was time I joined the ministry to fight crimes against children. As I learned more, I felt like I was supposed to be involved somehow, but I was struggling with it. I was sitting in my car and in prayer, out loud, said to God, “Okay, I will give in.” I walked into a Christian bookstore moments after that prayer, and the first thing I saw when I walked in was a table full of shirts that had labels on them that said: "Give N." I read on the label that one of the things Give N did was raise funds to fight injustices, including human trafficking. 

My story came out, and I was led through door after door into the ministry I had been equipped for since I was little. 

JOSHUA 24:14-15 Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD. And if it seems evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.

When I was growing up, some of my handlers practiced Santeria and Baal worship. They used to tease me and call me ash-tree because my first name had the pagan meaning “grove of trees." In the Old Testament, the Babylonians were notorious for Baal worship. The pagan idols of Baal have no power over El Elyon, God Most High. Even Nebuchadnezzar, the King of Babylon himself, ended up acknowledging that God is the Most High.

In a Bible study on Gideon, I learned that God gave Gideon a new name, called Jerubbaal, which means Baal fighter. During the Bible study, I found that God was willing to give me a new name, also, and that I, too, was a Baal fighter. In JUDGES 6:25-26, God called Gideon to tear down his father’s altar of Baal and cut down the grove of trees beside it. I realized if Gideon could do it, so could I.

JUDGES 6:25b- 26a …Throw down the alter of Baal that thy father hath, and cut down the grove that is by it. And build an altar unto the Lord thy God upon the top of this rock.

In the lesson, the teacher described the power of prayer for God to do impossible things, and that for us to get to see God do miracles, we need to be willing to pray in impossible situations. The teacher gave us an example of a miracle in an impossible situation. In another country, an anti-human trafficking ministry was trying to rescue trafficking survivors, but there was no help from the authorities. There were no other options but to pray for the men to come forward and rescue the survivors. Not long after, this is exactly what happened.

Their prayer was answered. If we are willing to pray in impossible situations, we are more likely to see miracles happen. One time at church, our pastor preached on the story of Nehemiah. He said that “God uses broken people to accomplish big things.” God is calling regular people to be secret agents in an army against evil. 

Years ago, in Palestine, Texas, around the time I was born, my aunt Michelle, who is another survivor, prayed for God to do something about the trafficking, violent crimes, and injustice in the area. Now, several decades later, I get to see the answers to those prayers take place. I got to see an army of organizations run by passionate people rise up to fight this issue locally.

​For many of us, the risk was huge. At times, the risk for me was great enough that I once even considered accepting an opportunity to leave Texas permanently and change my identity. The sacrifice was great, but it was worth more than anything in the world and rewarding beyond words to get to see, within my lifetime, that it was possible for my past, all of the hard work, and also countless nights of prayers and tears to make a lasting difference.

PSALM 56:8 You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?

REVELATION 21:4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

​In 2014, not long after I was married, I opened up about the loss of my children. At the time, I still believed they were no longer alive. After all those years later, I finally gave them names. The names were Joshua, David, Joseph, Hope, and Grace.

That same spring, a ministry in Tyler, Texas that fights human trafficking had an event. The event was called Night Walk for Hope. 

That day, several hundred people carrying lanterns gathered to walk down a trail through a park near my apartment in honor of survivors. Completely coincidentally, many of them were wearing T-shirts that said on them “Hope is Alive." None of them had ever heard about my children.

That year, on Mother’s Day at church, they handed out flowers to all of the mothers. In the parking lot of the church, there were several magnolia trees in bloom. I was given a magnolia. After church, I went to my favorite turtle pond. While I approached the edge of the pond, most of the turtles ran away and jumped back into the water. Two turtles stayed behind as if they were there to greet me. I left the magnolia in the water.

​ROMANS 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Soon after that, instead of choosing to change my identity and leave Texas permanently, God led my husband and me to leave Texas temporarily and go on a much needed vacation. As we drove through Birmingham, Alabama, I saw that on both sides of the street, there were trees and trees full of hundreds and hundreds of magnolias everywhere. I felt the promise of Jesus to reunite me with my children one day, even if it meant I had to wait until heaven.

MATTHEW 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

​Two weeks after we left Texas, we arrived in Nashville, Tennessee. Before we went on our vacation, we were originally planning on going incognito for a while. Ironically, we signed up to go to the KLOVE Fan Awards which we thought was just a concert, but when we got there discovered we had by accident signed up to attend what turned out to be a red carpet event. Incognito quickly went out the window.

Near the end of that vacation, we got to go to Passion City Church. That night, they played “Our God” and “White Flag." I felt that God was reminding me of His promises when I realized that by no plans of man, God made this happen on July 23, 2014. That is the same date that a few years earlier God first used the song “Our God” to inspire me to come forward, speak up, and become an abolitionist. That summer, God also confirmed that in the future I will be called to serve survivors in the mission field.

While on vacation, some of the places we drove through were Birmingham, Alabama, Atlanta, Georgia, Nashville, and Memphis, Tennessee. 

I know with all my heart that God is real and He answers prayers. answered prayer of ours was more memorable than the time when as were driving through Memphis, Tennessee. On the way home, we were praying about God ending the human trafficking in that area. While we were praying, we were exhausted and even started to argue. Our prayer fell apart.

At that point, we stopped and asked God to honor our prayer request anyway. We said to God "If He honored our prayer request, we acknowledged it would be through no power of our own that the prayer would be answered, but it would be only because of His power."

Not long after we got home, I stumbled across a news article about how a huge trafficking ring was busted. The trafficking ring operated out of Birmingham, Alabama, Atlanta, Georgia, Nashville, and Memphis, Tennessee. God is faithful.

PSALM 102:17 He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.

PSALM 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

MATTHEW 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

MATTHEW 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

I have spent many years praying for families affected by trafficking and Satanic ritual abuse. In 2018, God opened the door for the restoration of my own family. By then, I had become informed enough on human trafficking and the Mormon Church that I realized it was possible my children could still be alive.

On January 27, 2018, the woman who wrote the Nehemiah Bible study I had done years earlier was speaking at an event in Tyler, Texas. She was teaching over the life of Joseph. For a few minutes, she spoke about slavery and human trafficking. I was sitting in the very back of the sanctuary. At one point, it felt like she was looking straight at me. She then pointed in my direction and read out loud Genesis 45:26 which said: “Joseph is still alive." I immediately thought of my son Joseph. 

​I am looking for answers and the truth about my children. I am convinced they could still be alive and may have disappeared into the LDS foster care system. I am asking for your help finding them.

In November 2018, my aunt Michelle Hoover launched The Henry, Leroy, Oscar Call Your Mom! Campaign to locate her missing sons Henry, Leroy, and Oscar. ​Now, all these years later, I am trying to find my missing children, Joshua, David, Joseph, Hope, and Grace. They are all now grown adults. Our ministry is called  The Finding Hope Project.

On the first week of our search for missing family, we were in the car driving on the loop in Tyler on the way to Longview, Texas. I was thinking about my kids. As I glanced out the window, I noticed a KVNE radio station billboard that said , “Hope Found Here." Longview, Texas, is where my daughter Hope was born.

One evening, I felt led to go to Reformation House of Prayer in Tyler, Texas. No one knew I was coming. I did not know that they were praying about ending human trafficking. Moments before I walked through the door, they gathered into a circle and placed two chairs in the middle. They felt led by the Holy Spirit to pray for two specific missing children. As I quietly walked in, I heard their prayers. I was amazed.

Together, my aunt Michelle and I worked diligently to raise awareness about all missing children, survivors, and families who have been affected by ritualistic abuse, mind control programming, and human trafficking. During the first few days of spreading missing person flyers for our family, we received a phone call from a young girl looking for help, who we believed was in danger. That week, I was able to report two tips to The National Center For Missing and Exploited Children for two separate missing children's cases. Since then, we came into contact with other parents who are in search of their missing children. 

In 2016, one law enforcement agency that believed in me awarded me a scholarship to complete my bachelor’s degree. I am a recipient of The Granting Courage Scholarship from The United States Immigration Customs Enforcement Foundation. 

On November 12, 2018, while I was a student at UT Tyler, I went to the Baptist Student Ministry Center on campus to hand out missing person flyers for Henry, Leroy, and Oscar. One person there prayed for my family. He said out loud, “I pray for Henry. I pray for Leroy. I pray for Oscar, and I pray for hope." I had not told him about my own children.

I spent my last semester with UT Tyler serving as an intern with a safe home for my psychology field service credit. On May 4, 2019, I graduated from The University of Texas at Tyler with my Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology.

For over three years, I volunteered with domestic minor sex trafficked girls at the safe home and with at-risk girls from foster care emergency shelters. Some of their stories were heartbreaking, yet through Jesus’ power, miracles happened. It was inspiring and encouraging to see that kids who have been through so much can heal and be happy. We did arts and crafts and Bible studies together. I did presentations on animals and brought my iguana, two turtles, and a Russian tortoise to interact with the girls. I could tell the animals and the kids loved the activity and luckily... no one even got pooped on.

During the campaign, my aunt and I bravely traveled the nation even though the threats, stalking, and harassment intensified, but I wasn’t scared anymore. One night at our hotel parking lot, two traffickers showed up in an attempt to intimidate us. I laughed and took pictures of them. They both covered their faces and ran away in fear. I’ve joked that the two of them were so ridiculous to me that they reminded me of Nacho Libre and his sidekick from the movie.

PROVERBS 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

After they were gone, the hotel manager hid us in his office, called the cops for us, and while we waited, He got on his knees and prayed with us. That year, many people prayed for us, and God continues to answer those prayers each day. 

Like many others, life during the pandemic held many struggles, grief, and pain. By July 4th, 2021, I moved to Alaska to be with my Aunt Michelle. My marriage and many of my other friendships had fallen apart. My Aunt Michelle was like a mom to me. I am so glad I got to spend that precious time with her. At the end of the summer, she and I went on a road trip to continue to search for and campaign for Michelle’s kids. It felt like we were so close to finding them.

Within a week, Michelle and I became too sick to continue to travel and were stranded in a hotel room in Germantown, Maryland, not very far from Washington, D.C. We both tested positive for COVID. She fought in the ICU for months. Tragically, my Aunt Michelle did not recover. On October 29, 2021, she went to be with Jesus.

The grief and loss of losing my children, my marriage, and then my aunt Michelle, who was a mother to me, was beyond devastating. I felt like I had lost everything. It seemed like my life’s purpose might be gone. I thank God for all the times in my life that my friends went to battle for me in prayer and that God spared my life from suicide. 

What also helped me to accomplish victory over suicide, self-harm, and depression is the many hours I spent in prayer and worship. In September of 2021, while my aunt was in the hospital, I started studying and learning to sing worship music in other languages. Now I’ve been learning to dance again but it's not for men. I dance with praise flags for encounters with the Holy Spirit and the presence of Jesus. He makes me feel special, cherished, and loved. He makes me feel close like a real daughter.

ROMANS 8:15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.

Not long after my aunt Michelle went to heaven, there was a remarkable transformation in me. I inherited her strength, passion, perseverance, mantle, and anointing and I once again became on fire for Jesus's purpose in my life. While she was in the hospital, I prayer walked Washington, D.C. regularly. During that time, several people were praying for me and my family. I was so sad but the prayer helped so much in my healing. 

My love for life is reborn. I have started on a new stage in a miraculous healing journey. I feel called to continue the vision, ministry, and legacy of my aunt by one day opening the safe home for survivors we had always dreamt of opening together. I never imagined I would be doing this without her. Every day, I try to remember that I have a promise. For the rest of my life, I will never quit searching until I find my children and Michelle’s children.

ISAIAH 61:1 He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.

I feel called to the mission field and want to become a worship leader. I sing praise in Russian, German, Hebrew, and Arabic. Since December 2021, I have often listened to several hours of prayer and worship in Russian a day. I felt led to begin studying the language as part of my training for a future in missions.

​Because of my childhood encounters with Nazi criminals, I originally wanted to study German first, but that December, I felt it was revealed to me that I needed to focus on studying Russian first. I wondered, “Why God? Why Russia so soon?” I was stunned but chose to obey. This was only a few months before the conflict with Ukraine began. It makes more sense to me now. Every nation needs love and peace. JOHN 3:16 says “For God so loved the world…” The whole world…

At the beginning of 2022, I started training in self-defense. When I grew up, I survived both the Mexican and Russian mafia. After the death of Michelle, I went back to her house in Alaska. I expected I might run into someone dangerous, but my fear was gone. I put my trust in God and came prepared for anything. I entered the property with police, a stun gun in one of my pockets, and anointing oil in the other pocket. I was once asked by a fight instructor why I wanted to train in Krav Mega. The answer I gave is that I wanted to be prepared to fight human trafficking globally and be equipped to go to Russia. In the future, I plan on going to a Youth With a Mission Discipleship Training School.

My dream for the future is to see this world free from all injustice, slavery, racism, terrorism, war, torture, genocide, thirst, starvation, and disease. But for now, even in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death exists serenity because I find my perfect peace in him. 

Some people look at suffering, injustice, and human trafficking and wonder how God could be real since these things happen. I look at my past, and I can now say: It is because of how powerfully He reached out to me during my suffering so many times that I know just how real God is.

PSALM 103:6-12 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

PSALM 146:7-8 He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous.

ISAIAH 58:6 Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?

MATTHEW 25:40 I tell you the truth whatever you did for the least of one of these brothers of mine you did for me.

There is no one who has ever known better the world of suffering than Jesus, our Lord. In the Old Testament, the Messiah was described as oppressed.

ISAIAH 53:7 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him and by his wounds, we are healed. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter.

Sometimes, when it has seemed impossible to understand why God would allow such suffering and evil to take place on earth, I could only find comfort in knowing that Jesus also endured torture and suffering and that I am not alone. Jesus WAS SOLD by Judas for thirty pieces of silver and handed over to be crucified.

MATTHEW 26:14-15. Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—sent to the chief priests and asked, "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?" So they counted out for him thirty silver coins. 

MARK 10:33 They will condemn Him to death and will hand Him over to the Gentiles who will mock Him and spit on Him, flog Him and kill Him. Three days later HE WILL RISE.

He allowed Himself to face death and came from the grave so that we could have life. He did this to set each of us free. It does not matter what holds you prisoner, or how dark your past may be. If you have never known freedom before, He is here for you. Christ offers everlasting freedom to anyone and everyone who will accept it. 

Jesus is a mighty Holy King, yet a servant to the oppressed, the afflicted, and the needy. He is a friend to His followers. He is Abba Father.

MATTHEW 18:23 Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.

MATTHEW 20:26 Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.

JOHN 15: 13-16 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

HEBREWS 2:14-15 Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives.

I never knew my worth before I met Him. Jesus thought I was worth dying for. If you don’t know your worth, remember he died for you, too.

MARK 10:45 For even the son of man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

He bought me for a price. He paid it all. He gave his life to pay my ransom and set me free from captivity. He can set you free too.

PSALM 49:7-8,15 No one can ever buy back another person or pay Elohim a ransom for his life. The price to be paid for his soul is too costly…But Elohim will buy me back from the power of hell because He will take me.

ROMANS 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- NOT EVEN THE POWERS OF HELL CAN SEPARATE US FROM GOD’S LOVE.